Diary Entry #134

I'm so beat.

I wish I had anything to show for it but I've still got work to do, tonight, before I can truly rest tomorrow. The workload, I am told, is unusual for this opening week, and that it tapers toward the end of things. 

I've been a little introspective lately. 
The fact that not everyone will be your friend is a given, but I've never been so aggressively confronted by that fact until recent. I sat down with someone I consider to be quite wise and even-handed, and I spoke to them about it - we'd just kind of compared notes. 

I said, "I feel like there's actually very little I can do about things beyond continue being myself and hoping that people enjoy who they meet." We'd more or less agreed, and it feels good to know that this is perhaps the only reasonable way ahead. I do not feel aimless, or like I am simply embracing the status quo now that I've discussed it and decided it is a good course of action.

Sometimes, a respected and solicited second opinion is everything.

-

I had a strange encounter at the college.
One of my professors drew a very "Navy" diagram on the board, and it raised a little flag of curiosity in my head, but then he concluded the day by going, "Hmm, the communication today has been very hub-and-spoke, I apologize for that."

I said to him, "You're an Intelligence Officer."
He blinked at me and said, "How did you know?" and I said, "Because I talk like that, sometimes."

We spoke, and agreed that you cannot judge a peoples by the actions of their government, and you cannot refer to a peoples or a civilization when you address their government. 

My heart ached and I cried.
He asked me, "Was the Navy good to you?"
And I said, "No - and I feel like I have this eldritch knowledge, sometimes, that I can't do anything with, or even acknowledge the possession of - and the state of the world hurts my soul."

He pat me and said, "We simply must talk more."

I am hoping I have in him something of a mentor, going forward.
I truly do want to ask him, older and similar, "What do you do with the things you know, and how do you recover your heart?"

-

Kiki stopped by to let me know there is a Full Moon tonight.

Come join us under it.